Japanese Airport--random

三个月前，也是在这里，要飞回北京。这次，回美国。刚坐了jl的早上8点多的 飞机来，真是害得我5点就起来了只睡了3个小时，而且在东京机场的等候时间竟然竟然有5小时之久，不过我还是很兴奋！觉得日本机场这个免费的yahoo cafe真是造福人类的事情！我终于有些时间写blog了。

也许人要习惯一些东西并不需要花太多时间的。我三个月前第一次用这里 的电脑的时候，完全搞不清楚它的键盘，我那篇japanese airport的日志里面的标点符号等问题也是让我头痛得不行。不过这次用起来似乎就是轻车熟路了。就好像这几个月来一直在跟日本键盘亲密接触一样。。。 而其实我只是每天对着普华永道给实习生的比较古老的IBM，每次登MSN都登不上去的。

有个可爱的妹妹刚去美国跟我说适应不了美 国大学生的chatting，虽然听lecture完全没有问题。我太了解了，几年前我也是这样过来的。一点点学会用awesome，一点点学会听到 sports girls随口说出F word不要感到惊讶，一点点学会在看到美国人一个大保险箱的make-up的时候要从容的从旁边迈过去熟视无睹一般。。。她说他们说的那么多 singer, movie star我真是搞不明白。我笑，对啊，我们的确搞不明白。可是这有什么关系呢？我们这辈子的头17，8年在中国度过的，we know way more than they do in many other fields ，we recognize the cultural differences, and it's not always necessary to adjust to the way they are. And they are not expecting us to adjust and to understand everything, because they accomondate the differences too. That's the most intriguing but also the most exciting part of the American culture. Within this culture, we should be proud that we're foreign.

三 个月前的自己是留着从齐耳短发长了一年长长了的完全没有层次感的头发去旅游，去实习的。我很喜欢北京，真得很喜欢北京，除了污染跟堵车。相比之下，我对沈 阳几乎是没有什么概念的，我对沈阳的概念只是北陵公园，南十马路，和东北育才。那是家，学校六年两点一线的生活，却成就了我对中学母校深深的迷恋。有些人 把育才比喻成监狱，出来上操是放风。但是我依然觉得那是我最快乐的一段时光。也许是因为那时候可以肆无忌惮的为篮球比赛中的男孩子们高喊加油，也许是因为 那时候学校某些领导各种各样的经典语言每每都让我们憋笑都憋不住，或者也许，只是因为我还是个孩子，我们还都是孩子。

回沈阳终于 有时间把自己的头发剪了一下，弄卷了。我终究还是喜欢自己卷发的模样，也许是因为我胖了。又了解到有很多高中同学出国了，他们看着我MSN上的照片，说是 完全认不出来的样子。我现在还常常拿起我ID 用的高三时候的照片向别人骄傲的宣称：快来看帅哥哦！育才的女生也许是中学的时候压抑久了吧，到了大学都蓄起了长发。这样挺好。我中学的时候基本就是个男 孩，比男孩稍微细腻多愁善感一点而已，现在才算是个女生了，生理上，心理上。我觉得也挺好。人要学会给自己定位，才能好好发挥自己的优势。

这 个周日发生了很多事情，一连串的发生，很快，有些难以置信，但是并没有措手不及，因为毕竟是比较开心的一面。也许一个人要离开一个自己有很多回忆的城市的 时候总是感慨良多的吧。可是我觉得这次离开很轻松，没有任何感伤。我在凌晨时分给朋友们发告别短信的时候也是如此平静的。也许我觉得自己已经期待了好久这 个最后一年了，这个我真的需要去争取些什么，去改变些什么的一年了。就仿佛我高二到高三所经历的那一年一样，只是这次，更多的，几乎全部的，要靠自己。我 现在庆幸的是：我还是个有勇气的人。我从来都是个有勇气的人。我的拳头很小，所以心脏很小，但是她一直很努力的跳动，她很坚强。

我 很开心能遇见陪陪，阿晨，阿风，阿飞，阿暴，小佛，一杨，更开心能再次跟君，阿婷，小敏，一风，雯雯，小磊，丁丁，和尚，合时相聚。。。说实在的，不知道 下一次回国是什么时候，取决于我的工作地点了。不过如果下一次回国再途经日本，我知道我还会来这家internet cafe的。这是一个让我有万千思绪的地方，仿佛连接了过于跟未来，现实与憧憬。。。

也许从陌生到熟悉，只要0.2秒。

Hey, Let's ROCK Senior Year

--In memory of the very first start of my senior year

I have been speechless along the way from Boston to New Haven. It was not only because who's driving. I felt that I was having the worst time of my life, though the Boston people treated me soooooooo nicely, and I behaved as if I were at my own home. What more could I expect?

But the fact that I lost one of my luggage pissed me off and I was like thrown to the deepest abyss. What kind of luggage is that? It is obviously filled with my FAVORITE clothes! All the best stuff I just bought and didn't even wear yet, but I was putting them together in this particular suitcase with the intention that I could wear them immediately after I get back to the States, to make it balance out the new look of my hair and my new watch, etc. But all gone.

I couldn't blame myself more. I have dragged that carry-on suitcase from Beijing to Tokyo, Tokyo to Chicago, all the way through, but then I stupidly shipped it with the other two tagged suitcases when I went through the custom in Chicago. I was even thrilled about it because I could then ship three instead of just two. But later when I didn't see my carry-on luggage at all in Boston, I realized that the suitcase was NEVER shipped to Boston, because there's no tag or any name on it, so nobody knows which flight it should be on.........A blink of stupidness. A blink of laziness. Too much to bear. But so what?

It is, after all, just a suitcase of dazzling beautiful stylish clothes. I am nothing more than who I am with those clothes. I am nothing less than who I am without those clothes. I have had too many good starts for a new semester, but some of them ended in a disaster. I had always been too ambitious at the beginning, and had to drag myself towards different directions to meet all my own various kinds of interests as well as the interests of others, but some of the efforts ended up clueless and fruitless. I don't need dazzling clothes or a dazzling new beginning to make myself feel good about myself, just like I don't need another guy to tell me that I look fine.

It was not until the car reached Exit 3 for Yale University, after 2.5 hours drive, that I finally realized how excited I were to get back on campus again. It was not like arriving home. Home is a more comfortable, relaxing, and cozy notion. Yale is not home for me. Maybe years later when I come back for reunions, it will feel like Home. But not at this point, not this year, not yet. It is more of a battle field for me, the notion is also intimate, but the degree of closeness transcends "home" in a certain way. It is intense, I couldn't even close my eyes when I think about it. But it is also inspiring.

I can't believe it's my senior year now! I can't believe the years go by so quickly, as if just with a blink, as if last second I was still doing orientation learning how to use condom for the very first time! (I'm serious about it...)...But it's here, the last year is here. It is not the right time to panic, to freak out, or to show any sign of scare. It's THE time to FIGHT. Remember what's in Full House? Could you please learn SOMETHING (something at all) from Korean drama? Ajia Ajia fighting! What are you waiting for?!

Make good schedule, make good plans, plan for yourself and your own future. Right? Remember what dad told you about what's bothering you, the three points? And what kind of work should you be looking at, to take advantage of your specialties? Also three points? Remember the Big three on your A list, and remember to go to bed and get up at a reasonable time?

I recently bought "It's All Natural" by Natural in China, it was original, and it was cheap. The songs are old. But they're sooooooooo good. I couldn't stop listening to them. I couldn't stop planning and couldn't stop working hard. I couldn't stop smiling to myself that I am happy to be senior, finally. There's party music outside in the Pierson courtyard. There's ALWAYS party music and people chattering here and there. They're not bothering me at all. I have been a dreamer, too much a dreamer. Now I should finally become an executive, for myself.

Hey, let's ROCK senior year.

I could. I will.

The Problem

I have been trying to analyze the problem and to figure out why it has to be like this for quite a long time. I even went as far as to take the initiative to write three messages and call the number three times. No response, which is not exactly surprising. But it hurts. I hate it when there is no response. It feels like shouting to a black hole, I shout so hard, but there is only echo, without anything new. My breath is just taken away. Why it comes so easily, but I have to take it on so hard?

Three is the maximum I could get. I could never be so excellent to be the first, and I couldn't bear to be "next to the first", so I always happily see myself being the third. A lot of the times, the third got the best, sometimes it got nothing too. But still, if "Destiny is just an accident" anyway, no wonder being the third could bring you the most random, but at the same time, most amazing outcomes.

Three is the furthest I could go. I am so tired, so scared, so frustrated and so paranoid to move any further. Count three, if he is still not there, he will just never show up, never. So it is just useless to wait, or to try to convince myself with words that I don't even believe that would ever come out of my own month. I knocked at that door so hard, with all my strength, my courage, and my all-mighty dignity, so hard that I could hear my little heart breaking into tiny pieces, scattered everywhere, and tears nowhere to find. It is not open, counted three. It is never going to open.

Should I call quit? Or, is there anything else I could do? Or, is there anything else I have not tried, yet?

I once loved the song "All that she wants", I loved it because of the rhythm, not the lyric. I know exactly who is the hunter and who is the fox, the lyric just put them reversed.

A guy is not to change, not now, not ever. I knew from the very beginning. So suddenly I realized what pissed me off was not how he betrayed me, but how I betrayed myself. Do I really care him that much to treat myself like this? Am I really smart (oh I mean intelligent) enough to just be nice to myself? I knew him so accurately to be aware of all the danger and all the sorrow waiting ahead, but still I challenged my own kindness, patience and rationality only because I childishly thought he's different and we're meant to be.

Obviously, we are not.

The wind and the leaf are never doomed to be. They just encounter, intertwine, bewilder, and disappear.

总在后半夜回归

西安，成都，昆明，大理，北京，这些天虽然旅途很累，又不太能上网，我中间还感冒了一场，不过还是一个字：爽．

从大理回昆明的途中也不知道是出了车祸暴了火灾还是别的什么事故，总之在高速上我们被两大辆消防车困了近一个小时，然后进昆明市内又堵车，同时某人一路看着＂疯狂的石头＂学习人家某些生理问题很不合时宜的出现了一些反应．．．当我们一路跌跌撞撞摇摇晃晃浩浩荡荡的挤进昆明飞机场，十万分庆幸好不容易赶上了，于是大大的有成就感的时候，我们那望眼欲穿盼望着的飞机却死活不来了．大家于是很经典的掏出书本来读．我们一路受了鸿大哥的影响，一个个都成了书虫，每时每刻见缝插针般的都碰个书在那里啃．

昆明的飞机场太有意思了，整个一个杂货铺．卖水果的，纪念品的，书籍的，真是五花八门乱七八糟．多亏我们全部托运了行李，否则这一顿上下楼前后左右的穿梭可够我们受的．这里上下楼竟然没有扶梯，我很受刺激。不过在书摊我看到林桦写的那本《刹那樱花：一个中国白领的日本印象》，题记是：由于日本人深知他们很多美好的东西可以在顷刻之间毁于一旦，因此他们非常珍惜自然界的一切，他们的内心深处都有一种繁花落尽的悲凉。这一句话就深深地吸引了我．我主要读了一下第三部分，解读所谓的日中关系：夹在感情和历史夹缝中的“死结”。说实话，也许是学了好几年日语的关系，我对日本这个国度以及民族总怀有一种复杂的情愫，而他这本书里面的一些文字却似乎淡然得让我的复杂情感得以释怀，所以让我很有共鸣。这几天一定要去书店把这本书看完，新浪的连载太慢了。

换了登机口，乘上transfer bus墨迹了半天，终于上飞机了．我头一次乘坐海南航空的飞机，去年还做过他们企业社会责任的案例，果然，飞机上的民航杂志里面第一篇就用硕大的篇幅讲他们怎么优等的对待员工之类．海航跟桑德集团一样，的确有一个有远见卓识的领导人物，更重要的是他们懂得宣传！anyway,这飞机除了供应的晚餐太差了（那哪叫晚餐啊！）其他还是不错的，特别是还发放第一财经和环球时报给我们看，让我了解了美国对台问题其实是多么保守的态度，各界媒体对正在举行的G8峰会又是怎么一顿恶批，还有美国某些人莫名其妙的宣称要＂抵制中国奥运会＂又被官方怎么正色打压，还有一些花边新闻比如什么某人右胳膊断了所以用左胳膊后来又突发奇想把左胳膊接到右胳膊上之类，多累啊！这几天跟这帮北京人混，别的没学会就学会一个字：扯．什么都是太扯了．上面这个没事接胳膊玩得明显就是太扯了．更扯的就是这个Amazon的founder and CEO Jeff Bezos！

他老人家三年前收购了卓越网，开始在中国大赚特赚也就罢了，他最扯的就是人家其实是搞太空飞船的！2000年，他创办“蓝色起源”太空公司，2005年在得克萨斯买下一大片农场，用作私人火箭发射、降落场。“蓝色起源”去年11月13日在这个火箭发射场秘密进行首次私人太空船发射试验，竟然获得成功。他老人家还头头是道：“我们正在耐心而有步骤地致力于降低太空飞行的成本，让更多人实现太空梦想，让人类能更好地探索太阳系。＂他管理他的太空事业可不同于亚马逊的“更快，更大，更领先”哲学，而是推行＂小步快跑＂的稳健策略，有关人士评论42岁的Jeff还真是成熟老练了呢！

这个世界真是不公平，G8会议又在无休止的探讨环境污染和援助非洲之类的国际议题，可是总是有些人饿肚皮，有些人生下来就死了，而有些人莫名其妙就富的流油，钱都不知道往哪里花，还要把人类的垃圾堆积到太空去。如果这个世界真的存在外星人，不知道他们的社会是不是也像我们一样。他们是不是也像村上春树作品中所反映的一样，充满了现代人的孤独，空虚，无奈，失落和惆怅，于是也渴望和憧憬大理古城一般的恬适小镇，苍山洱海一般的田园风光，这般纯朴又绚烂的风景在我们眼中都美得有些不真实。或者他们进化到了另一个层次，他们也许只是俯视我们这些米粒一般微小还自以为了不起的人类，到底会嘲笑还是苦笑。

北京的后半夜，还是闷热。《神话》里面的那种人类原始的贪念和求知欲此刻在我心里荡然无存。我始终不明白为什么这样的电影我看过了一遍第二遍还是想要哭。

在从机场回家的路上，我一直在考虑一个问题: M同学的母亲大人到底符不符合天蝎座。我有时候对星座真是迷信到不行，有的时候则是很绝望。不过我终于发现我对水瓶座的评价实在有失客观，因为我突然发现暴哥和思哥也是水瓶座的人。

插播：在安妮日记之后，近日以色列大屠杀纪念馆首度公开了犹太女孩璐卡-拉西科60年前的日记。1943年2月5日，璐卡在日记中这样写道：“我不相信有一天我可以不带这个颗黄星星离开这栋房子。也不相信有一天这场战争会结束。如果这真的发生了，我 可能会高兴的发疯。过去仅有的一点信心也已消失的无影无踪。如果上帝存在，他肯定不会允许把人活生生扔进炉子，不允许用枪托捣烂婴儿的头，不允许把人装进 麻袋用毒气憋死。”
http://news.sohu.com/20070605/n250400904.shtml

我明天要见一个认识了十年但是四年没有见过面的人，认真看过我blog的人就知道我会去见谁。他真的是个好人，可是我们没有在对的时间相遇。
所以我只能祝福他，祝福他做一个好丈夫，一个好爸爸。

太高兴了

哈哈哈,今天在成都最后一晚,去了九孔桥酒吧一条街.见识了所谓成都的夜生活,又一次不小的震撼.
不过我高兴的不是这个,我高兴的是终于见到了暴哥,很巧的!
哈哈哈,帅哥啊,人又好,又有才,又会玩,这个...简直跟我差不多嘛!
真是少见,相见恨晚阿!...熬了通宵,也值啊!

先占个位置感叹几句,然后补充,补充好多!!!

Japanese Airport

Good thing: tokyo airport has yahoo cafe, free internet access.
Bad thing: japanese keyboard absolutely sucks.

I thought about buying some makeup for my friends here at the duty-free stores, but finally gave up because I`m really close to broke.

It`s been a 2 hour plus 12 hour journey already, and there is still 3 hours to go. It's the first time I took full advantage of my flight time. I finished almost the whole book of case interviews and half of the book $9.99 or ￥19.99, yeah it's the name of the book: THE book about advertisement and the life as a creative director. Absolutely contraversial but amazingly witty and insightful satire. I　love it. It is almost the BEST book I have read for years, just got me soooooo immersed.

...However, he still didn`t reply to me, it`s like for ages already. He promised a goodbye dinner a week ago but called on the very day saying that his car is really in bad shape so he could not make it. It was a bad excuse, which he has been using for the entire month. But it`s ok I guess..But it is NOT ok when I accidentally saw him happily dining with two other girls at the very same restaurant my friends dragged me to. I cheerfully said hi to him before my conscious realize that it is actually HIM! I was quite calm, as I am now, because I have to be. what else can I do?

At least I learned two things: next time I schedule a dinner with him, I`ll make sure to bring another girl. (stronger incentive, uh?) and if his car just takes forever to fix and it only needs to be fixed when he is supposed to meet me, I guess it`s absolutely some sign of something. It`s ok. I just thought I should have known this some other way, not by some random discoveries!

I am not even angry. Just like Miranda cheerfully said, fine, it`s ok, you are just not that in to me. Yeah, I totally agree. Just never in, and never will.

You guys, you suck more than this Japanese keyboard!

The BUSY Week in Boston

I'm leaving Boston 8am in the morning. I just spent an amazing week in Boston, hopefully I'll post further details about my "adventures" these days. But just a quick list for now.

Friday night, arrive. I can't believe I dragged my super-heavy suitcase all the way from New Haven to MIT, all by myself!

Saturday, settle my ticket, and make schedules with 4C, you know I'm gonna traveling around China to Xi'an, Chengdu, Kunming, Shanghai and Shenzhen with 4C 2007 national tour right? It's a pity that I couldn't make it back to Shenyang in time. Northeast Yucai, miss miss.
http://coastcoast.org/2007tourcn.aspx

Sunday, paintball day with old faceren members. OMG, the weather just couldn't be "better"! It's so realistic, I mean, guns, masks, forests, and in the rain! I just hope my wound will recover soon so I can wear skirts and shorts again, lol. Btw, Chen Yu bro's just soooooooooo professional!

Monday, Museum of Science, finally! It's really an amazing place! And I totally LOVE the animal shows. It's about turtles at one time and about alligators at the other time, both astonishingly fun and informative. The visual effects on the second floor's impressive too, see what I learned in IntroPsych may come in handy from time to time.
And dinner with zheng, a really decent guy, we had some very nice conversations. I guess I really enjoy being with people from whom I could learn stuff, and also feel comfortable dealing with.

Tuesday, BIG DAY, Danni's coming to Boston for a conference. Oh my high school schoolmate, college schoolmate, and best friend Danni! And also the weirdly humorous Jing, yeah, you need some time to get used to his jokes, but he's totally lovely. Kennedy School of Government's like a dining and partying place, basically. But I LOVE HBS, the Bloomberg certer reminds me much of google. I really hope Google offer H1B for its marketing positions, though. Anyway, Boston's seriously addictive, I mean the rhythm. Once you're on track, it's hard to get off again.

And then I went to shopping, again, at Felines. It seems the ONLY color I wear nowadays are black, but those two tops are really charming. I couldn't get rid of them once I put them on. Hum, if someday I get rich, I will buy tons of clothes and travel to tons of places! Nannan once said he'll buy an entire room of basketball suits and another entire room of basketball shoes if he gets rich. I have this feeling that neither of our dreams will come true.

Anyway, and the night time is amazing too, what else can be more exciting than 2 movies in a row at Boston Commons! Shrek 3 and Spiderman 3. Both are about revenges. I tried very hard to remember the theme lines (really touching lines) but still forgot them...but I guess I feel sorry that Henry died at the end, he's actually really handsome. oh his eyes!


Wednesday, had lunch with the guy I once had a crush on, lol. We're just friends now, and I'm glad it's not awkward at all. Actually, we had dinner together too, but that with 6 other MIT people. Jingwen's always nice and cute. Jinrong's more 8guo than I originally depicted. He constantly talked about tsinghua pku dorm dates (I donno how to say lianyi), anyways.

Between dinner and lunch, I went to MFA again, yeah, I'm crazy about museums, especially when they are free. I LOVE the Boston Commons at Twilight painting. I just LOVE it. The hustle business on the one side, the elegance and beauty in the middle, and the sheer tranquil dazzled with snow white, are just soooooooooo harmonious all together. Totally my favorite piece of painting! My favorite sculpture is "The Bartlett Head" the Aphrodite of Ancient Greek. Her feature's just soooooooooooo addictive. The actual sculpture's much more beautiful and charming than this picture! Oh and there's this special collection of Wars and Discontent with TAC (Teens Arts Council) personal notes...quite impressive too. The works are just HUGE, HUGE!

The ONLY thing I feel bad about these days, is that I saw him, the very him who said to me he couldn't dinner with me due to ridiculous everlasting car problems, at the very restaurant that I went to with the 7 MIT people. I like surprises, but just good ones. It is very interesting that I managed to smile and waved to him in such a delightful manner as if I was totally prepared to see him in that occasion, I mean, with 2 other girls.

But I know it is none of my business. So this little incident is sealed, from now on. I don't know what else I have sealed with it. I guess I don't really care.

好多事

最近好多事，弄得我基本没有睡觉。
有好有坏。
这两天陆续写。这里先占地。

另：归国日期有变，要提前一周了。

再另：老大够朋友。

很兴奋，但是搬家好累。以前起码还有个人帮我一下下。
虽然我却是骂过他不会打包箱带真不是男人。。。哈哈，不过现在真是一个人都没有。
算了，我就一点一点一点的蚂蚁爬。。。
我去爬了。

没有如释重负

又为了考试一宿没睡．12号考完以后整整睡了15个小时，然后13号下午从4点睡到6点，然后就一直到现在．我边复习边在PPStream上看各个赛区的好男儿比赛，有的已经迷迷糊糊看过好几遍．我觉得我好像就这么点乐趣了：看帅哥养眼吧．嗯，有些人说我色吧．没关系．不过要色就大大方方的色嘛，不要扭扭捏捏的．所以我就大胆承认：我就是喜欢看帅哥，还就是喜欢中国帅哥！

奋战，奋战．．．然后去考试．迷迷糊糊的感觉考的还不错．正好有复习到全部的内容．等到时间交卷的时候，竟然没有任何如释重负的感觉．真的没有．出去的时候阳光依旧如此明媚．高中的时候，曾经看到这样的天，总是心情霎时间变得特爽．而现在在这边只要不下雨基本就是这样的天，而我却时不时要感叹，我是不是睡懒觉又错过了那么多明媚的早晨呢？我是不是真的在不知不觉中虚度光阴了呢？


清华毕业的好男儿柏栩栩，真的是风度翩翩．吴君如说他真的有偶像剧男主角的潜质，确实很Man，但同时又很精致．即使如此他绝不是我注意的第一个．而我对他印象无比的深刻却是今天在复习的间隙：北京6进5的比赛第二轮的从＂苦难＂论述好男儿梦想．他说：苦难就好像是吃包子时沾的那盘醋．如果没有苦难，那些幸福跟快乐又如何会显现出来呢？（跟泰戈尔大师有一拼．．．）他接下来说，大三的时候曾经去美国exchange，本来会认为是件美差．可是去了之后发现根本不是那么回事，压力非常大，感到孤独，而且甚至有一段时间觉得得了抑郁症．

我听着这样的话，从我的课本中抬起头来，仿佛有些懵懂又有些震撼的注视着他在台上神采奕奕的面庞．心，突然一颤．我很感动，我很感动于他的真诚，他的朴实．在全国人民都能看到的电视舞台上，有着不知道多少人羡慕甚至嫉妒的背景跟经历，却全盘托出他在美国时期的真实感受．我有点想说＂我是过来人＂，所以我真的体会过他所讲的那种感受，面对压力或者未卜的前途的那种不知所措的恐惧，以及对自己，对人生，对世界从未有过的怀疑．但是，柏栩栩他挺过来了．我想我也挺过来了．

我曾经站在新东方的讲台上，＂夸夸其谈＂，然后周老师在我演讲之后总把我跟国内的学生做对比．她的语气里面的那种骄傲，就好像是她把我培养出来的一样．我到现在也不知道如果当时没有出国，是不是我会比现在快乐，但是不会比现在懂事，或者说，懂自己．我的笑容，我的眼睛，我的声音，我的头发，现在也许都夹杂了那些我曾受过的苦难，或者磨练．不仔细看，你只能看到风光无限．你看不到心的泪，你也看不到心的坚强．

我想，即使很疲惫，也要有阳光般温暖的笑容．没有人体恤我，那么我就自己安慰自己．

这两天国内的好几个朋友都向我汇报我的博客在国内上不去了．还有些小感动，有那么几个人还真是一直关注我的．但是其实不是那么有所谓．我的思绪其实很琐碎．我没有指望你全读，更没有指望你全懂．最近有人问我为什么离开faceren，我想起两年前要离开cuus的时候的那种不舍的心态，带了些许的恨铁不成钢的伤痛．而离开faceren，怅然若失的感觉都没有．我想不是我淡漠了．我应该不是淡漠了，对吧．

我只是知道了什么才是自己想要的．自己不想要的，就不要吊别人胃口．

我没有办法如释重负，因为我从来没有做完了所有事情的时候．每时每刻，都有新的挑战吧．我真得很不喜欢packing，但是我必须按时上路．

Ivy Ode (Yale 2007 Commencement version)

Ivy Ode 常青颂

The gate swings open, and minutes pass, 大门缓缓敞开，时光悠悠流逝
Someone cracks a joke—the last 学子彼此的笑语欢声
Heard as a student. 即成往事
Four years ago, this stage was far. 遥想当年，这个舞台何其遥远
Now could we get there from where we are— 回首间，谁不奢望
Well, who wouldn’t? 时空倒转，昨日再现？

Bustling like bees, rallied into ranks, 如蜂群般熙攘，我们逐渐成行
Arranged like sinners giving thanks, 像感恩的信徒
The time arrives, 静候圣光
And down the well-worn rows we march 穿过沧桑的长廊，我们起步
To shake the hands, and disembark 轻轻握手
Into our real lives. 踏上人生的征途

The books we perused are snug in bed, 细品过的书香，淡淡地弥散床头
What angels watched us overhead 庇护我们的天使
Extend their contracts, 将延续她们的守候
While parents bend a wave of grief 父母的欣慰，掩饰着那丝丝的感伤：
Beneath a feeling of relief— 他们可以休息了
They can relax. 让孩子独当一方

As we, in gothic, graying towers, 古老的高塔，钟鼓沉音
Gilded libraries, where we spent hours 藏书室辉煌灯火
Rehearsing facts, 助我博览古今
Have borrowed knowledge of a kind 历史的积淀悄然演奏
The ready heart can only find 只有敞开的心扉，才能聆听
When it reacts 那辩证的低语，真情的魔咒

To difference, and to love’s full 借来这样的火焰
Enchantment. Too often, thoughts are dull 照不亮心中的沉迷
Or un-ignited 燃不尽思维的溟茫
Without their better counterpart: 单纯的思考, 若没有外化—
The art of making, made an art 创造的艺术，艺术的创造
Itself, unrequited 就难以迸出火花

Until it is given back. 我们就是自己的书
We are our books, barely a crack 书脊几乎崭新
Along the seams— 墨迹尚未模糊
Their wisdom here, freshly imparted, 先贤的知识刚刚传承到手
Is thrown to depths perpetually charted 折射着智慧的光芒
Beyond the sun’s beams. 映入遥遥苍穹

It falls to us, now graduated 毕业的我们
To share the worlds we’ve contemplated, 要将心中的天地呈现
To brandish hope; 以希望作盾，以正义为剑
To shield the war-sick, weary masses, 去庇护，那纷乱战火中的疲惫众生
And separate the volatile gases 去阻止，那无常的硝烟
Before they elope. 再次肆虐人间

It falls to us to be the strong, 坚强是我们的义务
To mark all those who worship wrong 引导那些诱人、却错误的想法
Yet tempting causes, 走出歧途
To marshal out our erudition 昭显我们的真知
Yet always keen to our position, 时刻牢记自己的立场
And our many flaws. 一日三省吾身

This task we have, these hearts to mend, 我们的责任，去唤醒这些疲惫的心
They are the same our fathers lend 他们低吟着父辈们的遗憾
From age to age: 从古至今：
The desperate manors, plush and futile, 绝望的田野丰沃而无助
The forges of the bored and brutal 工薪的冶炼
Company wage. 苦闷而残酷

Let us not marry our intent 别让那些贪婪的引诱
To keep up the establishment 虚荣的奢望
Of vain pursuits. 贻误你的追求
Remember what has meant the most, 铭记最深厚的感动
Give others a chance, and do not boast, 在争执时宽容
Be kind in disputes, 慷慨，谦恭

And always, always, love with true 而永远，永远要用真心去爱
And fervent love. None may undo 没有人能将系紧的结
What has been done. 轻易解开
A summer’s night cannot be made 仲夏之夜无法重温
Again—none uncode time’s blockade. 沉沉的时间之锁
There is only one. 会将历史尘封

So did you gather all you wanted? 那么，你是否满意你的丰收？
From classes, friends, professors vaunted 汲自敬仰的教授
Above the gods? 课程和学友
The captive seeds that in us churn 孵获的种子在心中，深深萌动
Now to the earth must be returned— 要送回大地，要发芽、生长
Are there more words 撑起天空

You wish you had distributed? 是否后悔当初的沉默？
Or times that, uninhibited, 若是没有羁绊
You would have changed? 你会否重新来过？
Collect them all, savor the lost 找回那曾经丢失的机遇
Chances, the freedoms that were glossed 珍视那被忽略的自由，去回味
Over, estranged 曾经愤懑的心绪

Embraces—pack them up for good, 更不要人云亦云
And do not do what others would 让他人的主张
Tell you is best. 左右自己的言行
Follow the distant drum that speaks 去追随那远方的鼓声
Of light and truth, and life that seeks 所颂扬的光明与真理
a surer’s rest. 更丰厚的人生

The clocks are whirring with a fury, 时钟的齿轮飞转、轰鸣
The streets are lined with those who hurry 街畔的人群侧头
With heads averted. 注目、倾听
The classroom doors to us now close, 教室的门窗对我们已不再开放
Our busy hands are in repose, 令我们此刻的双手
Though disconcerted. 安适，却又彷徨

The hidden walkways known to us 熟知的暗道今已敞开
Now open to those curious 迎接任何好奇的路人
Enough to look. 顾盼、徘徊
They pass along a legacy, 每一墙角，每一转弯
Our prints of anonymity 记录着我们无声的印痕
In every nook. 永恒的遗产

The stories of our hands explain 我们的故事默默铭记
A common bond that must remain, 那共享的情谊，心中的灵犀
Though we are gone— 我们虽然离开—
We are the grass, we are the rooms, 但我们是这里的青草，这里的高塔
The silent marching that resumes 是悠扬、骄傲的歌声里
Its slow, proud song. 沉默前行的步伐

沈阳赛区加油好男儿。。。

啊，啊，啊，沈阳赛区的加油好男儿，我看了一小会儿６进５，简直了简直了！

VOTE for Shenyang Group!
http://myhero.smgbb.cn/

印象最深的是刘学涛，被誉为“十全十美”的男生，哈哈不错，练１１０栏的，跟刘翔一样哦。虽然他唱歌唱得我感觉其实很一般，但是人家长的就是标准就是清秀又不失阳刚，台风就是稳健。后来又学习了服装fashion，所以笑容不仅仅阳光而且绝对有气质，还是特单纯的那种气质。而且说话干净利落，眼光清澈又很执著。我确实很喜欢。我就是喜欢修长感觉的男生，师弟比不过他。不过我们东北人就是兄弟情比什么都重要，所以到最后为兄弟说话。如果是别人，我会觉得假。但是他，我没办法不觉得真。兄弟，就是兄弟。挺他，一定要挺他！

还有梁言我也蛮喜欢，选的歌曲的确是非常喜欢适合他。只是你搞不清楚调子到底在哪里，也搞不清楚他是在说话还是在唱歌。不过竟然感觉还不错！舞台上表现比刘学涛更沉稳一点，但是歌曲最后那个踏步的动作实在是太傻了，不知道谁给设计的？！虽然不太会说话，语言在我看来实在缺少润色，但是很坦诚，而且很会利用他的运动背景。哈哈，让我想到托福的口语准备，anyway...

哦，还有小王子井柏然，我本来对他不以为然，不过研究了一下发现他实在太有韩国高中生的气质，怪不得短信得票那么高！而且人家小孩很会来事：十强的时候就说，“去年沈阳赛区在进入全国总决选后全军覆没，没有一个人进入全国十强，今年我们一定要为东北好男儿正名，争取拿个全国总冠军回来。”他的话不仅得到了沈阳 十强兄弟的响应，也得到了导演组的肯定，当晚比赛的实况录像通过卫星传输回上海总部后，总导演一眼就相中了井柏然：“这个小伙子不错，形象、气质、才艺俱 佳，还有股骨子里渗透出的刚硬自信，我非常看好他！”看来这个小孩一句话就把好多哥哥们都打败了！而且他确实懂得利用自己年龄小的优势．我后来听他唱＂凌晨三点钟＂之后的问答，才觉得他虽然年龄小但是很真实很放松还有点小幽默．．．不过人家的舞蹈也不是吹的，哈哈，迷倒一片也是很正常的吧．而且，而且！他的母亲很伟大，嗯！



不过我觉得最搞笑的是搞了个什么＂天空之城＂五位王子帮助评审．．．他们翻牌子的动作和那个表情简直太假了！！结果全是上届的好男儿。。。不知道 他们看着这帮后辈到底是什么感觉。我很长一段时间一想到中国就会想到北京，去年也是在北京呆的时间大大超过沈阳，今年假期也会是这种状况。但是看沈阳赛区 的时候我才突然感觉到对这个名词有着深沉而纯粹的感情。心情不错　：）

附刘学涛和井柏然的新浪博克，没事可以去养眼．

http://blog.sina.com.cn/liuxuetao

http://blog.sina.com.cn/boranjing

嗯，看帅哥看够了好好学习吧：）加油！

The Time

I just had two extremely disastrous and productive days.
It will still continue to be so for the next week. And then off I go!

Yeah, it is the best of times, and it is the worst of times...
And there is nobody to stand here together with me, I have to face everything alone.
But it's ok. I will survive. I know I will, and I have to.

我亲爱的老爸老妈

我老爸老妈真是越来越逗了，以前打电话基本是我汇报，他们正襟危坐一般的听着，然后教导我．而现在我们好像在互相讲笑话，太强了．

老妈以前没事批评我总说：真不是个省灯的油．
老妈看着电视里面的ＮＢＡ篮球比赛情不自禁的说：啊，这球踢得可真好啊！
老妈瞅着老爸的电脑上网又出问题了，生气地说：这个照相机怎么总是连不上网？！
我都不行了。。。

我老爸其实是个相对严肃的人。但是他从欧洲转了一圈也变得好玩了。老爸最强的就是对雨果称之为＂世界上最美丽的广场＂布鲁塞尔大广场的一顿鄙视．他说什么大广场啊，那么小，长也就１００米多一点，宽大概６０．而且地面不平鼓鼓囊囊的，还没有我们家住的小区那个小广场大呢！然后逛过一角那个什么小威廉，就是撒尿那个小孩，其实不过是一座半公尺高的铜像．平时旅游旺季还被围得立三层外三层，老爸又是禁不住感叹．

说到小孩，然后又提起我们家小区小广场的喷泉没了改成一组小孩的雕像了．结果主题竟然是：司马光砸缸！我想起那个赵丽蓉的小品，已经笑翻了！老爸去欧洲当然不会带什么包包或者化妆品，人家就买了点糖和橄榄油．还煞有介事得跟我说，橄榄油可是好东西，在国内买还是很贵的．不过我都没敢问他是要拿来美容还是做菜．．．而我妈就在一旁抱怨说他买的糖一点都不好吃．．．那一刻，我觉得其实我老妈觉得自己特幸福，哈哈哈！

最近一次电话，我跟老爸老妈分析这边心理课上学习的理论．说孩子的成长跟家庭教育没什么关系，基本全部是由基因决定的．就算外部环境有一定影响，那也不是家庭的，而是家庭外的比如社会群体等等．当然我搬了一些数据，还有ＭＺ，ＤＺ双胞胎，和领养的孩子的一些比较给他们。老爸听了以后有些愤愤不平，哈哈，毕竟他的确的确的确是在我身上倾注了很多心血。我自己也觉得美国跟中国的家庭观念不一样，对于大多数中国家庭来说，父母的教育还是很重要的。不过我老妈就很乐，因为这样就仿佛证明了她也很优秀一样。哈哈，虽然我小时候总跟我老爸“嘲笑”妈妈，特别在英语方面。

但是后来老爸似乎又有些触动的说：如果这个理论真是这样的话，那么我要总结：
第一，看来可以理解你某些方面的固执吧。我怎么教育你都改不了也许就是改不了吧。
我马上吐舌头。
第二，看来还是该感谢你从我们俩身上遗传的大部分还是比较优秀的基因。
我想，如果真的遗传了我老妈在学英语方面的问题，老爸还真是无奈了。
第三，不过估计有隔代遗传的问题。。。这个可要小心。。。
我心想，这可怎么小心啊。。。哈哈哈

哦，对，提醒自己１３号母亲节给家里去电话！嗯！

The Call

I just received the MOST embarrassing call of all times.
I was too embarrassed and nervous so I hang up the phone, pretended I never picked it up.

But it was really embarrassing.

Of course I am not putting down the situation here, but I know that call, or what was mentioned in that call challenged my boundaries. But it was in a good way, like an alarm clock or something. Because now I could pull myself out of that illusion perfectly.

Though it was truly embarrassing.

I am telling myself I should never let this happen again.

How Vulnerable are Harvard Kids?!

哈佛教授又发表伟大的言论了，以下转帖：

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哈佛教授衷告：不要参加同学聚会 是件危险的事 搜狐社区

学生时代，我们基本上都在老师的要求下完成过《我的理想》一类的作文，结果“想当科学家”、“想当作家”的什么都有，基本上没有“想当农民”、“想当工人”的。而10多年之后,以我的调查统计，95％的小学、初中同学最后都在广阔天地里打拼。如果真的按人们的愿望去编制社会运行结构，那么，这个世界是不是只剩下“科学家”和“作家”两类人群？单调不说，我们将何以生存？

任何社会、任何时代，资源配置上都有优劣之分，利益分配上都有多寡之分，社会制度的设计固然要着力推进均衡化，但社会的个体成员在对自己未来的设计、职业的定位上，在共建共享社会资源的过程中，更应当具备一种理性的、合作的态度。“要做就做最好”，当然是一种可贵的精神追求，但是许多的时候许多的场合，我们又不能无视条件的限制、环境的压力，有人说，人学会了只追求有限的、相比较而言“次好”的目标，理性合作才有可能。

哈佛商学院一位教授在学生毕业前的最后一堂课上这样忠告他的学生：如果几年之后你接到母校的邀请，要求你回校参加五年一次的同学聚会，那是件危险的事，你不要去。同学聚会怎么成了一件危险的事？他认为，聚会会逼着你回头审视在刚毕业的短短几年你所取得的成就，而且是以你同学们的标准，而不是以你自己的职业目标和成功标准，来评判你的成就与收入。在晚餐之前，开车驶进校园停车场，斜眼打量着周围汽车的品牌与款式，努力猜测着你的同学们毕业后混得如何，以及你与他们的差距。在鸡尾酒会上，当听说那些同学已经做了高级副总裁或者成为百万富豪时，你默默计算着自己与他们的差距。整个同学会将引发你关于职业成功与个人价值的巨大焦虑和徒然担忧。

更糟糕的是，对5年后重聚场景的设想会影响你现在作出的决定，你可能会调整自己的职业以便在短期内获得显赫的资历，或者很快就赚大钱，以便能衣着光鲜地参加同学聚会；你会将那些心中规划已久但是不会马上实现的梦想束之高阁，去从事那种你实际上不喜欢，但却让你有钱买得起高级轿车的工作。

不要参加同学聚会！哈佛商学院的教授真是用心良苦，他不希望自己的学生将失去自己的职业目标或者对自己真正想要的东西视而不见，不希望那些聪明有天分的人把时间浪费在那些头衔响亮、待遇丰厚的职位上……这样的建议对低学历、低能力的大多数来说，不是更有针对性吗？事实上，一味的好高骛远，追名逐利，注定了要自寻烦恼、自讨没趣。

可是，在我们的身边，至今还有人常常喜欢拿“不想当元帅的士兵不是好兵”的名言抒发自己远大的志向，其实，“只想”当元帅的士兵，能说他是好兵吗？当许多人都在竞相追逐“待遇丰厚”、“地位显赫”的时候，我们不能不有一种警觉：自己是不是离理性越来越远了？是不是离理想化越来越近了？人的职业定位、事业定位、成功定位不妨有一个宽泛的“摇摆空间”，不必把自己局限在逼仄的胡同里，不要把自己吊死在一棵大树上。

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说的好像很有道理的样子。但是我看完之后只是感到深深的遗憾：How vulnerable are Harvard kids?! and how over-concerned are Harvard Professors? 什么时候五年之后的同学聚会演变成了一种相互比较的竞赛了呢？如果你是一个追名逐利自寻烦恼的人，难道还需要等到同学聚会么？你不是天天都可以不厌其烦的跟身边这样那样的人作比较么？同学聚会是多么美妙的事情啊！去参加同学聚会难道仅仅是为了衡量自己跟别人的差距么？美国的所谓liberal arts education不是一贯讲究去discovery who you really are and go for what you really want么？这跟别人的选择有什么关系呢？难道是Harvard kids给你这样的错觉么？还是professor本身处心积虑搞不清楚状况呢？

4年的同学情义，一起走过的路，一起逃过的课，一起对过的笔记，一起出过的国，一起醉过的夜，难道在Harvard Professor眼中都没有任何意义么？真得很遗憾，Yale graduates不论是做了I Banker还是做NGO还是去山区作teaching volunteer，都一样得到大家的尊敬跟理解。如果您真的这样担心您的学生参加了区区一个同学聚会就会改变他人生的选择，或者对自己表示怀疑对别人盲目崇拜的话，那Harvard kids是不是真的太脆弱了呢？！

[OLD]For the Year 2007

Be
Graceful, as if walking through the rainbow
Be
Peaceful, as if standing aside with God
Be
Joyful, as if nothing has happened and nothing hurts

Only
Write things that I have to write
Only
Talk to people that I have to talk to
And
Watch and Listen all other times

Learn to
Smile, from my heart
Learn to
Appreciate, from my soul
Learn to
Delete, all the bad and sad

Stop
Crying, coz I left all my tears in 2006
Stop
Wondering, coz life is nothing but a pack of realities
Stop
Fearing, coz finally I have nothing to lose

Control
Strength
The ultimate power--Love

But
Life shall not only be filled with love
Life is colorful
Read, Travel, People, Sky

The end of an era
Suggests the beginning of a new one.
A different one.

Graceful, Peaceful, and Joyful.
Lead a truthful life.
And down-to-earth, shall never cry.

What you call Educational "Ads"

Quoting from a REAL ad on Noodle Cafe and Restaurant in New Haven, on RUMPUS!

Saying East Melange is a little better than Ivy Loodle* is like saying...Yale is little better than Harvard. Insulting, isn't it?

*Name has been changed for the safety of the other noodle place

Don't settle for mediocre, when the best is only a few steps away. Open late-real freakin' late...everyday.

Btw, RAMPUS is the infamous Yale publication, arrogantly entitled itself with "The Only Magazine at Yale about Stuff at Yale", and known for its ridiculously obsessive seasonal edition of "Yale's 50 Most Beautiful People". Look how the Yale hotties get themselves publicized, uh? Do please take your time and check it out at http://www.yalerumpus.com/
I am absolutely sure you will be impressed.

RAMPUS is honestly the second best way I ever learned about sex culture at Yale, the best way being the handwritings and posters on the various bathrooms walls across campus of course. And in its most recent edition there is this 2 full page analysis on "The Straight Guy--Rumpus penetrates anal sex at Yale", for totally educational reasons, it explicitly points out:

"Hoping to educate ourselves, we asked Colin Adamo PC '10 (Oh come on, I seriously saw him dressing up in a girl's skirt and tap danced in the Mr. Yale's competition representing our VERY own PC! He would have got a better chance making it to the final round if it was NOT a competition for GUYS! just kidding, Colin's awesomely cute, for sure), future sex therapist, if he could share some insight: Anal sex is like soup; you can either eat it or you don't. " Oh that's REALLY educational, isn't it?! Hold on till you finish the whole article.

And when I was having dinner tonight, I was surrounded by a group of sophomores that I barely know of, and suddenly one of them yelled out with excitement that he personally know about this *Name* who appeared on the article with his REAL name, and the other guy immediately responded, "isn't that the guy who said it's better to do with the finger first?" Oh come on, "I am still here!" Please don't just shout out those words into my face?! And for God's sake, we're still in the Dining Hall! It's NOT like in your own bedroom!

Anyway, That "I'm still here" so reminded me of Chandler in "Friends", you know that scene when Joey and Rachel discussed about blablabla and almost just totally forget about Chandler? hoho, I love "Friends".

Well, ok, after all, awkward as it may seem at first sight, I have been learning to get used to these stuff and even began to enjoy reading them. I mean, READ! And of course, for educational reasons...

P.S, a friend of mine just suggested I should open a column someday, "Sex and Yale". A joke of course, but quite an interesting idea, I am so not experienced for that, but it's still an interesting idea, isn't it? If that's part of the education you're supposed to get, as an international student in the US...

Farewell, '07

Mory's 隆重的senior dinner，cup的传统递接仪式，正装出席的每位CUSYer亲切而灿烂的笑脸，曾经跟我一同走入大学校园的'07每个人略带感伤的眼光，在觥筹交错间一干而尽。而那些点点滴滴，也化作永远。You are leaving Yale, but you guys are going to have a new name, Yale Alum!

cup递接仪式中出现了很多经典的发言，可是我仿佛一直处于晕晕乎乎的状态，竟然现在记不出多少了。只记得zhaoyu说“这学期的freshmen，有的人睡得太少，有的人睡得太多。希望下学期，睡的少的人多睡些，睡得多的人少睡些。”一语双关，不得了不得了。好玩的话还有很多，伤感的话也有很多。那些在Ivy noodle买dumpling, 在York Side买chicken wings，然后在Branford Common room深更半夜大侃特侃的日子，也许，再也不会有了。虽然因为去年在国内做项目，还有一年才会毕业，但是我很清楚，没有'07er 的日子，很多事情都会不同了。。。

但同时我也感到庆幸，还有一年的时间可以体会和感受这里。Mory's 的仪式进行完跟几个senior去Ivy noodle吃饭的时候，才发现还有一份很好吃的排骨河粉我竟然从来都没有点过。There are so many interesting discoveries and surprises every day, just never ending never fading, though tiny by themselves, together they make my life filled with excitement and joy.

之后当然又是一帮人照相。大家做了很多搞笑的造型：比如模仿国家首领亲切会晤啦，一帮人叼烟头猥琐啦，一帮人被扫黄（抱头蹲下状）啦，一个男生周围一帮女生作妩媚状（特别是男生口袋里还要放钱！）啦，等等。在美国也许最好的事情就是可以拿"money"跟"sex"开玩笑，虽然我用了两年的时间才习惯这种方式，但是终于了解了这种轻松玩笑的魅力所在：虽然很夸张，却无论如何也不感到过分。大家在一起开心就好，不是么？

因为周一考完了一门期末，所以难得有一点空闲的时间。边跟高中同学聊天边在ppstream上看GTO，又想起了高中日语班曾经一起看这部片子时的大喜大悲。在北广的和尚也要来美国了，在费城，迦菲猫同学要来北卡，钢姐要去华盛顿州，哈哈，我的同班同学也终于要陆陆续续来美国了，真得很兴奋。和尚还跟我说如果会北京要去电视台实习他也会帮我联系。我想虽然普华永道的media marketing应该已经占去我大部分的时间了。但是既然逐渐意识到真正的做media是我的理想，我想无论如何也要去尝试了解一下。还真的是很期待的呢！


Sex and the City 里面Carrie引用的话：It's the best of times, it's the worst of times. 也许对于现在的我来说，这段时间就是这样吧。告别了一些人，但是会迎来更多的人。不管我们的交集有多少，我都想说，感谢你们在我的世界中，来过。

Farewell, '07. Warmest wishes for a splendid future for all of you guys.
And I look forward to the day that we will meet each other again!

My New ID Card

I lost my ID card last Friday after 5pm. It was like the ONLY day in this entire semester that I went to sooooooooooooo many places in a single afternoon: commons, EE library, SML, International center, Econ Department Secretary's office...and I hadn't noticed the card was gone until I tried to take it out from my back pocket when I was entering D-port dining hall. I went back to the two libraries and emailed all the other contacts to see if they happen to see a lost ID card.

Of course, no luck.

So I called up security and asked for a temp card over the weekend. 10 min later, I was there at Phelps Gate waiting for some giant security people to show up, and at the mean time, being scrutinized by every person who walked by. It was raining, and I didn't bring my umbrella. Efficiency, I said to myself. Then I discovered the umbrella is not the only thing I forgot, my watch too. So I was hopeless there...Efficiency, I said to myself again, and I guess that was another 10 min.

It was a relief when the security person finally showed up with his swift bicycle, too little for his giant body, and my mood got slightly better when he looked up right into me, gave me a natural smirk and called out: temp card? Oops, when does THAT become yet ANOTHER nickname of mine?! Anyway, the guy's quite cute so I am not going on here blaming again that I have to wait for another 10 min to finally GET the temp card because he had been using that loud walkie-talkie back and forth for verification reasons and whatsoever.

It was not too good an experience. But every blemish's gone when I got my new ID card this afternoon. It was genuinely beautiful. Oh I am not talking about my ID picture, of course. I am taking about the design. There are shining little stripes at the bottom which were never been there before, and there is this horizontal watermark of our School Insignia covering the place of the ID photo. It is at one point so similar to the "大头帖" we used to take in China, and it is also sooooooooo professional with that huge watermark! I am so impressed by the new card, that I instantly don't feel so bad at all, for paying 20 bucks for it.

On my way back, I couldn't stop thinking: life, indeed, is full of surprises. I would have never got a chance to own this new splendid ID card if I hadn't lose my old one; I would be graduating this month if I hadn't took that year off, and I might even be crying at the CUSY dinner to come in 2 hours at Mory's because I would be saying goodbye to everyone as a senior; and I would be clueless with what to do since the H1B's all gone with no time on April 1st, and I would be extremely anxious when I learned my ex resigned from that I bank because I might end up doing that too...

But right now, I am still a junior with another year to go, and I still got time to perceive, to think, to cherish, and to explore. Although I know this other year will fly away just as fast as this year begone, I will still be grateful because I did gave myself a little vacation, and I know it's time for it to pay off.

A Little About Me

Single but not available.
Be quiet, and let go.

She's energetic, outgoing, humorous, flexible, caring, but also lazy, shy (easily get red-faced), random, stubborn, and sometimes...a little bit, mean. But I still think she's one of the cutest girls I've ever met, and she's definitely cool.
And she believes...

A person strong in mind is usually, very sensible in heart.

Value love, not as most other people value love, as a desire or a passion, but as a means to give, to change, and to become stronger. In this sense, it's something ultimate, so nothing shall be stronger than that, since love's the actual drive of becoming stronger.

Respect him first. Love him second.

True maturity is not about what you have accomplished or not even about how you have changed, it is all about control. By relaxing control intellectually you gain more flexibility and freedom, and by enforcing control emotionally you obtain more rationality and respect.

There is nobody to depend on except yourself.
You can be hurt by nobody except by yourself.
You can be changed by nobody except by yourself.

Decision can change in a second.
But love cannot.
Love hurts, but life has to go on.
Time heals, but memories stay.
I love you now. So I love you forever.

The best part of life is that you never know this second what is going to happen in the next second. But sometimes, this can be the worst part of it too.
The best part of you is that you didn't mean to have anything to do with me. But you did everything. Sometimes, this can be the worst part of you too.

There are always two answers to a problem. A happy one, and an unhappy one. I choose the former.

Be curious. Because life is still full of surprises.