Hey, Let's ROCK Senior Year

--In memory of the very first start of my senior year

I have been speechless along the way from Boston to New Haven. It was not only because who's driving. I felt that I was having the worst time of my life, though the Boston people treated me soooooooo nicely, and I behaved as if I were at my own home. What more could I expect?

But the fact that I lost one of my luggage pissed me off and I was like thrown to the deepest abyss. What kind of luggage is that? It is obviously filled with my FAVORITE clothes! All the best stuff I just bought and didn't even wear yet, but I was putting them together in this particular suitcase with the intention that I could wear them immediately after I get back to the States, to make it balance out the new look of my hair and my new watch, etc. But all gone.

I couldn't blame myself more. I have dragged that carry-on suitcase from Beijing to Tokyo, Tokyo to Chicago, all the way through, but then I stupidly shipped it with the other two tagged suitcases when I went through the custom in Chicago. I was even thrilled about it because I could then ship three instead of just two. But later when I didn't see my carry-on luggage at all in Boston, I realized that the suitcase was NEVER shipped to Boston, because there's no tag or any name on it, so nobody knows which flight it should be on.........A blink of stupidness. A blink of laziness. Too much to bear. But so what?

It is, after all, just a suitcase of dazzling beautiful stylish clothes. I am nothing more than who I am with those clothes. I am nothing less than who I am without those clothes. I have had too many good starts for a new semester, but some of them ended in a disaster. I had always been too ambitious at the beginning, and had to drag myself towards different directions to meet all my own various kinds of interests as well as the interests of others, but some of the efforts ended up clueless and fruitless. I don't need dazzling clothes or a dazzling new beginning to make myself feel good about myself, just like I don't need another guy to tell me that I look fine.

It was not until the car reached Exit 3 for Yale University, after 2.5 hours drive, that I finally realized how excited I were to get back on campus again. It was not like arriving home. Home is a more comfortable, relaxing, and cozy notion. Yale is not home for me. Maybe years later when I come back for reunions, it will feel like Home. But not at this point, not this year, not yet. It is more of a battle field for me, the notion is also intimate, but the degree of closeness transcends "home" in a certain way. It is intense, I couldn't even close my eyes when I think about it. But it is also inspiring.

I can't believe it's my senior year now! I can't believe the years go by so quickly, as if just with a blink, as if last second I was still doing orientation learning how to use condom for the very first time! (I'm serious about it...)...But it's here, the last year is here. It is not the right time to panic, to freak out, or to show any sign of scare. It's THE time to FIGHT. Remember what's in Full House? Could you please learn SOMETHING (something at all) from Korean drama? Ajia Ajia fighting! What are you waiting for?!

Make good schedule, make good plans, plan for yourself and your own future. Right? Remember what dad told you about what's bothering you, the three points? And what kind of work should you be looking at, to take advantage of your specialties? Also three points? Remember the Big three on your A list, and remember to go to bed and get up at a reasonable time?

I recently bought "It's All Natural" by Natural in China, it was original, and it was cheap. The songs are old. But they're sooooooooo good. I couldn't stop listening to them. I couldn't stop planning and couldn't stop working hard. I couldn't stop smiling to myself that I am happy to be senior, finally. There's party music outside in the Pierson courtyard. There's ALWAYS party music and people chattering here and there. They're not bothering me at all. I have been a dreamer, too much a dreamer. Now I should finally become an executive, for myself.

Hey, let's ROCK senior year.

I could. I will.